Ice cold, hot but numb!
Water surrounding thy flesh!
Wind rushing against thy body!
Creating Frost under the skin!
Fire thawing the ice!
As I start to swell from pain;
Tears falling from thy eyes!
From the sorrow building inside!
And nails scraping cuts, deep and raw!
To have the blood pour out of my veins!
Crying to the Lord in the urge of a bliss!
Hands held up, arms open wide,
Standing in his presence praising his forgiveness. 
Dreaming what may occur to my body.. 
Would I crystallize or what I decay,
Only that if I traveled into the cosmos.. 
In a journey to achieve the wisdom of and only that He is God. 
One might ask if one might plead,
As Searching for courage,
to heal the cranium of my spirit. 
Marching coy and acting,
Acting cower towards the saints.
As my name to them as a farce to life,
To feed their banter blunt to mock and snide Snickers sly and bitter...
Permuting inside on out as well as gnawing!
He's come to my calling,
Request permission to abort and I deny it..
Being tempted to heave and withdrawal. 
As if I was drugged or worse of all,
But for the urge in permute to the Lord,
For him, I accept the agony for agape 
If not for better or for worse, 
for all intents and purposes.. in this, the change. For in this... 
The Pain of Changing from what I once was!